Emotions can be tricky.
Even as a professional consultant, I can have emotional ups and downs.
When my emotions are out of control, the results can be detrimental.
It can hurt me personally and my independent consulting business.
Many years ago, my emotions were so out of control I hurt my relationships with my
- colleagues and co-workers,
- friends and family,
- life partner; and most importantly
It would have been easy to blame my circumstances.
But I learned long ago that when I took responsibility, my life improved dramatically.
And I took action and applied new tools to help myself control my emotions.
- I journal daily.
- I practice meditation daily.
- I reframe my circumstance.
Yet, I still have circumstances where I am not in control of my emotions.
Even just recently, I was experiencing irrational fear in regards to the changing circumstance for my consulting business.
I was coming to the end of an engagement with a long-term and repeating client.
During the engagement, I continuously kept in contact with and helping my network, to the best of my ability.
And during the last quarter, several in my network mentioned how they had been struggling.
Struggling to get noticed, to be considered for opportunities, and to negotiate decent terms.
And that they were worried about what 2018 would bring them.
I have to admit; I found myself also fearful of what 2018 would bring me for opportunities.
Though, at the same time, I had several warm leads in my sales funnel.
I was experiencing irrational fear.
I was not in control of my emotions.
I allowed myself to second guess my system, efforts and confidence in managing my own independent consulting business.
My lack of control was hurting me.
Thankfully, I had also just seen Tony Robbins speak.
His words about how to take control and manage my emotions was timely!
So I listened and learned.
And I practised the tactic I learned from Tony Robbins to immediately take control and manage my emotions.
The Gratitude Tactic to Control Emotions
As mentioned, I was finishing up my engagement with my long-term client.
It’s not like I haven’t been here before.
And every single time, I have to admit, I still have some fear.
This time was no different.
And though I was journaling and meditating daily, my fear kept showing up and getting worse.
I had misgivings about not accepting my client’s renewal.
I was worried if I had done enough to ensure I had multiple opportunities.
Thankfully, due to meditation and mindfulness practice, I knew I was irrational.
The problem was, I didn’t know how to break the cycle.
The gratitude tactic requires me to leverage my mindfulness practice.
As soon as a negative emotion comes up, I need to acknowledge it and accept it.
And then immediately switch into gratitude mode.
I take a breath and list three things I am grateful for right at that moment – immediately.
For example, I am grateful for:
- the network of peers I have advocating on my behalf.
- the skills I have enhanced during my engagements, enabling me to continue providing value to my clients.
- my abilities to organise and advocate on my behalf and my solutions in a voice my ideal clients desire.
And at that moment I take control of my emotions.
My fears and worries change to one of gratitude and confidence.
You are probably wondering what happened at the end of my contract and the warm leads in my sales funnel.
Low and behold, my fears were unfounded, like doubts often are.
Instead, my like-minded network of peers and clients came through.
I did not renew with my existing client, again, and they were very understanding.
Instead, I was able to secure an exceptional opportunity with favourable terms with a new client.
And I am grateful!
I am grateful to find so much I can be grateful for.
With my craft as a consultant, with my independent consulting business, and with my incredible network who helped me secure a great opportunity.
I knew the value of expressing my gratitude, every day.
I capture it in my journal every morning and every night.
Now that I am also practising it with my awareness of my emotions, I have noticed a positive change.
And with practice, it takes me less time to acknowledge, take control and manage my emotions.
I hope you, too, find this tactic helpful.
Please feel free to let me know if you do and the difference it’s made.
And even better, if you found this article helpful, please share it with your community.
Thanks for reading!
Founder and President
Stand & Deliver Inc.